There's always that classic question: do you eat to live or live to eat? (Image via Fit and Win)
As if there is only one black and white, clear and correct answer. That's where early diets made bank (and mistakes). Elimination diets blame "snacks," "carbs," "dairy," "fats," "dyes," "gluten." Trying to blame one food for your unwanted lbs will only solve part of the problem. Now, don't get me wrong these totally work for some people. Finding the right fit is essential to developing a lifestyle out of a "diet."
But, let's take a look back at that first question. To survive any "diet" or "lifestyle" change you have to acknowledge your relationship with food. Yes, you have a relationship with food--it's like that ex that is off limits to talk about.
Sometimes you just have to ask yourself "why" you are eating that chip, the chocolate, the bread, heck even the carrot. Eating is essential to life, but is also a behavior of life.
Were you raised in the esteemed "clean plate club?" Kids who grew up in that generation may be more likely to over eat. They simply don't like to leave food on their plate. In a study conducted back in 2009, the Cornell Food and Brand Lab found "Preschoolers whose parents forced them to clean their plates, ate 41 percent more snacks when at school."
Do you still feel that "guilt" of leaving food--or are you calculating how much money each uneaten bite cost? Check out these great tips from PopSugar on how to "terminate your membership"!
On the other hand of that behavior are emotional connections. Emotions can also play a huge part in how you view your food. I'm the classic "all or none" saboteur. And an over thinker to boot. I can snack on anything as a means to keep my mind from running. Then of course my mind catches up to me later as I calculate all the calories I just inhaled. Weird, huh? Some people even confuse the signs. If you are tired, like all-nighter in college kinda tired, you may turn to eating or drinking something for more energy, when a nap is what your body actually needs. You may even be THIRSTY over hungry! Ay-yi-yi shit just got complicated, right?
Regardless of those signs, I had (have) always loved to eat. It wasn't until I was a teen that I began to draw the conclusion that there was a supposed "wrong" relationship to have with food. So, I began to exert my "will power" over food. I quickly turned it into a frenemy. In fact, the Cornell Food and Brand Lab found that part of the reason those preschoolers were eating more snacks was because it was one place/time they could regain control of what they ate. (Image via Fashion Avec Passion)
It wasn't until I went to go see a Nutritionist/Therapist that it dawned on me: food was winning and I had very little "will power." She gave me a huge list of foods with boxes next to them. Then, she asked me to check off the foods that made me feel "unsafe."
In a few swift pen strokes I had inked up 1/3 of the page. Grapes, peanut butter, bread...I couldn't handle biting into any of those or else my whole "all or nothing" process kicked in.
When did this giant shift happen...when did I think so much about what I was eating. When did I start to HATE food?!
Despite the fact that I had whittled down to a 125 (which was still a "whopping" 10 lbs away from my freshman year weight), I had come to realize the restriction was never about the food. It was about the control. Amazing how the relationship with your food can uncover the relationship you have with yourself.
Pinpointing the start was easy: the initial weight loss before my freshman year of high school, where I got down to 112/115. I was so stressed as a junior higher going into the big leagues of high school. This "all or nothing" mentality had pervaded all aspects of my life. I had to be good at every sport, have good grades in every class and participate in everything I could: socially and academically.
There was a pull between sports, the arts and academics. I was up until 4 a.m. frantically finishing projects, staying after school for two hours for basketball practice and then later being ushered off to soccer or AAU basketball practices. After that came the "catching up" with my social life--late night AIMing which turned into late night texting and occasionally sneaking out through the years.
To top that off, I had a whirlwind of a crush that ended in rejection. In attempt to exert some control, I turned on myself. The easiest way to affect change and gain control was to nit pick my physical self. The thinner I got, the more clothes I slid into, the better I felt. I equated my depression to my appearance (damn that lower belly pooch). There was a calming sense of knowing that I could at least limit the calories I was eating.
It was like regaining a sense of self. I wanted to reinvent my style, my image, everything I thought it meant to "be someone" cool and independent. It didn't hurt that I got told I was "pretty" to boot.
I wish I would have seen that relationship much, much sooner. It may have saved me from an awful lot of depression and self-destructive behavior. But, that's for another (hopefully shorter) post.
So, what's eating at you that's effecting how you are eating?